The most difficult thing to do is to live in peace and harmony with people. It is, perhaps, easier to live with birds and animals. Why is living with people a problem?

We know that fire is hot and we accept that fact. If we are burnt by touching fire, we do not blame it. If a whole house is burnt down, we may condemn other factors or blame our negligence, but would accept fire as it is. Its place is undeniable and it is not rejected. Similarly, we accept the coolness of ice, the beauty of flowers, fruits, trees and plants. Again, if we are admiring a beautiful, full moon and someone else comes and starts appreciating it, we don’t say, “Why are you looking at my moon? You have no right to see it!” There is no sense of ownership, no possessiveness; there is acceptance without any projection of likes and dislikes.

The Bhagavad Gita says that a wise person moves everywhere with love and affection. Like the wind blowing freely, he does not get attached to anything. He accepts all. Sometimes people behave nicely, sometimes they don’t. This neither elates nor depresses the wise person. “Such a man of wisdom lives with his senses under control, free from personal likes and dislikes, and therefore, enjoys every object, place, situation and person”.
Also, we find it difficult to live with people because we have too many expectations of them. If i expect something of another, that person may also expect something of me. Furthermore, i am unable to fulfil my own expectations of myself. I want to do so many things, but i am unable to do them. Thus, we feel disappointed and frustrated with ourselves, and aggrieved or upset with others when they fail to satisfy our expectations. I saw a sticker that said, “Don’t try to change me. Accept me as i am”.

It is important to understand the message clearly and completely. The message is that one should accept the fact as it is. Then if a change is necessary, try to make that change, but do not insist on it. Every parent wants the child to perform well and excel whether in sports or in studies.

There is nothing wrong with that. But, to expect something that may not be possible for the child to do, and unnecessarily apply pressure and force, will cause frustration to all.
When one is living with people it may not be possible to have no expectations at all, so one should have reasonable expectations. An artistically inclined child with no aptitude for commerce should not be forced into the family business. Expectations should be reasonable and based on knowledge and wisdom.

As far as nature or the moon is concerned, we do not feel a sense of ownership or possessiveness. But with regard to people this feeling is deepseated and can be very destructive. What we need to have is love and affection. Along with that there should be freedom and space, too.
Two hands joined together leave a gap and can be easily separated. Similarly, we should give space to people. Often we hear people say, “Give me some space please!” If you love a bird, will you cage it and expect it to be happy? It is not possible to love someone and also confine them in that love.

The writer is the head of Chinmaya Mission Worldwide.

Just because you made a mistake that you now regret, doesn’t mean that you should beat yourself up because of it for the rest of your life.

Dawn Fields

Just think about this for a moment: How many times have you done something in your past that you weren’t too happy about? It could be anything. Let’s say that you are an addicted person. You may be addicted to drugs, or alcohol or the wrong type of man. Perhaps you are addicted to stressful jobs that bring you little pay. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances may be. Hey, it doesn’t even have to be that harsh.

Perhaps you have tried to start your own business or create something in your life where you could make a living doing something you are passionate about and it failed, so you gave up. It doesn’t really matter. But every time you turn around, you are falling victim to the same thing over and over again. It happens —We Fall Down. But the good thing about it is We Get Up. Just because you fell down doesn’t mean you have to stay down. Get up!

Why are you still sitting there? We all make mistakes. But the great part about it is that God allows us an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and move forward. Just because you fall down today, doesn't mean that tomorrow you must remain down. Ever slipped out in public and actually fell down? Jumped up real quick, didn't you? The next thing you did was looked around and prayed that nobody saw you. Just as quickly as you bounced up from a real fall, you can bounce back from a figurative fall. One thing that i have noticed from speaking with a lot of people is that they understand the We Fall Down part and, generally, when they do fall down, they simply stay there or let their fall stop them from moving forward. They have never learned the ‘But We Get Up’ part.

No matter what the circumstances are in your life that might have tripped you up, no matter what you have been through, no matter what happened in your past, you can always get up and make changes, right now, that will forever banish or make obsolete, the bad things that caused you to fall in the past.

Don’t get me wrong. I hear some very legitimate sounding excuses as to why people feel that their life will forever be the way that it presently may be. I hear things like ‘I was molested when i was young.’ ‘My mother abandoned me when i was two years old and left me because she was out chasing the pipe.’ ‘I have an addiction. How can i possibly get a job that pays more than minimum wage.’ ‘I don’t have an education. How can i ever expect to get a good job?’

We all fall down. But remember, “A Saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up.” Get up. Don’t live in the past! Your past should be a reference point, not a residence. But so many of us continuously live in the past. We went out and bought a welcome mat and promptly placed it at the door of our past. We can’t break away from it. We wear it as some sort of badge of honour because we simply won’t let it go.

Just because you made a mistake or circumstances led you to do something that you now regret, doesn’t mean that for the rest of your life you will have to beat yourself up because of it. Doesn’t matter if you made two mistakes or three. Heck, it doesn’t even matter if you made over a million mistakes in your life. What matters is today, right now. You know the mistakes that you’ve made because you have that mistake as a reference point now and for the rest of your life. But you can change your residence. Move out. Pack your bags and throw away that welcome mat because, right now, you make the decision to change. You have decided that your life is worth fighting for. You realise that you are a child of God and, therefore, worthy of all that is already yours by divine right.

You weren’t born for sorrow. You weren’t born to be a doormat for others to wipe their feet on. You weren’t born to infect your body with chemicals that take you outside of yourself. You weren’t born to be used up and then disregarded. You weren’t born for any of that. You were born to glorify God and live a happy and abundant life. And if you aren’t living that way, it’s simply because at some point, you fell down. But now is the time to get up and start living the life that you were born to live. And that is a life of purpose. That’s a life of happiness and abundance.
Now, you ask, ‘How do i get out of the past and get up? Well, i would like to say, it’s simple. But that wouldn’t be the truth. There’s nothing simple about it. It is a daily process that you must work on. You have to be committed to making changes in your life.
You have to believe that God has a purpose for you. You must have faith. You have to change your mindset and the things that are presently in your life. In other words, you will have to work on you. You will have to realise that what happened yesterday, is gone.

You can never get that time back and, therefore, there is nothing you can do about it. But right in front of you is another minute or another hour or another day, week, month, year. Those things haven’t happened yet, so you can start to orchestrate your present so that your future will be more to your liking.

Start by telling yourself, over and over and over and over again, “My past has no bearing on who i am right this second. And, therefore, is not important. I am here to glorify God. I am God’s child and, therefore, worthy of greatness.”

If you take this simple phrase and say it to yourself all day long, over and over again, you will soon start to notice changes in your life. All of a sudden, without even thinking about it, you will start to pack your old baggage from the past and move them to a closet that you will lock and throw away the key. And when you get stronger in your faith, you will find yourself selling the whole house and moving into a completely different neighbourhood--one that is completely different from the hood you used to live in.

If you find yourself living in the past or letting past experiences hold you back from bringing new and exciting things into your life, STOP! Tell yourself, “My past has no bearing on who i am right this second. And, therefore, is not important. I am here to glorify God. I am God’s child and, therefore, worthy of greatness.” Say this to yourself, over and over again. Try it. And always remember: A Saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up!